MEMENTO MORI. At Dover Air Force Base in Delaware remains of soldiers and 9/11 victims were cremated then dumped in a landfill mistaken for hallowed ground by slap-dash environmental buddhist personnel. "We already have a contract to sift for calcareous remains which, when jumbled together, make a subtle statement in your garden or fish tank", said one industry representative, " this way everybody can have a souvenir of the latest conflict in one's very own home." The bulletproof vests, provided by a privatized contract to the military for combat duty have proven to be completely useless in any way, shape or form.

REPUBLICAN WIN of Michigan and Arizona to Romney, Santorum is left with a piece of shale in his pocket for a speech triumphing jobs in oil extraction instead of sustainable energy, and, living lost to the perception that instead of adequate work for those with limited skills,as if skills were limited instead of specific, people should resort to hard work as befitting those descended not from a new group of breeding and education,as if education were a consequence of breeding, so that the rags and the tags can go back to rags and tags to follow those who can and will lead to take out Barack Obama.

REPEALS, REPEALS EVERYWHERE. In New Hampshire, where only 32% support a repeal of same-sex marriage, republican men and women have taken to the streets insisting that only heterosexual couples can copulate to engender children, no one else, hence the proliferation of gadgets and shopping sprees to preoccupy one's recreational time away from an erection.

EXIT STRATEGIES. Republican senator Roy Blunt is open for discussion on permitting religious institutions to choose not to cover contraception in health insurance plans for their employees. On the other hand, employees wouldn't have the choice of using birth control: as a matter of fact, they won't even have a choice of where to work soon, since the religious conglomerate is suggesting to those who want birth control coverage to toil elsewhere. Inspired by periodic purges, such as that of Moors and Jews by king Ferdinand and queen Isabella of Spain,a switch to a new agricultural economy is anticipated by many, where every man is the king of his castle but not his community, every woman a moat and children grateful tenant farmers.

WORLD'S GREATEST DAD. In an effort to beat liberal professors at giving birth to offspring by inseminating classrooms, Santorum ups the ante for all parents: keep your kids out of college to have them tiny, begging, needy demi-gods basking perennially in your greater presence just about anywhere within your own four walls.

MERYL STREEP FOR THE IRON LADY? At the Academy Awards? Really? Someone so repressive in British and Irish politics? After she thanked the British awards for winning by saying that there was a special bond between her and the role because she was of British origin? Really?

LEGER DE MAIN. If Republicans vote more to the right as they have to suit the Tea Party, they'll fall off their flat planet into a newly conjured dimension.

OH SEE THE HEIGHT OF TREES, NOT THE WEIGHT OF CADILLACS. While Romney is measuring the height of trees, unionized workers are supporting President Obama's bid for the presidency. What Romney and his Republican followers saw as a useless concession to the auto industry was really an 80 million loan to General Motors and Chrysler which lead to the former's majority of stock now being owned by workers, with a similar bid sustained for the latter as well. So what Romney is really sore at is not the bailout but who it helped gain in labor and profits.

MARCEL DUCHAMP- Can one make works which are not works of "art"?

MARK RUWEDEL

SANTORUM SWITCHES. Mitt Romney isn't the only one lost to the world of contradiction. Santorum voted for Title X family planning in appropriation bills, while loudly clamoring for abstinence all the way home.

V-DAY IN VIRGINIA. As Governor Bob Mc Dowell of Virginia basks in the light of a possible vice-presidency for all Republicans, of intense opposition and fierce ridicule, support for the bill requiring intrauterine ultrasound before an abortion procedure wanes to a 32 in favor 65 against vote, dwindling the ultrasound to abdominal was a loving gesture as if that were a governmentally determiniable necessity anyway. Photos taken will be included in medical charts and there are ten states that require the intrauterine procedure.

EVANGELISM IN ACTION. For no reason at all, Billy Graham's son, Rev. Franklin Graham has uncovered, yet again, President Obama's predilection for Muslims over Christians. Even though the Administration has urged respect for Christian minorities in places such as Egypt, Graham is in a fit because if the President was really sincere, his father would have gotten around to supporting Christian communities publicly as well by appearing in roadside gas station puddles here and there.

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION is up for re-evaluation again by the Supreme Court, after the Grutter v. Bollinger 2003 5 to 4 decision still seems to have left in its wake unrequited hearts. That decision determined that although a policy taking race into account was not enforceable, it could still be a factor in the admission process. The rehashing is probably deemed necessary by Alito, Scalia, Roberts and Kennedy thanks to the great integration push of the last nine years, which saw among much else an African American man murdered by a white supremacist teen who favored him as a hunt victim in Mississippi recently. A complaint at the unfairness of this was lodged by many white families, stuck in the quandary of how to get rid of their own troublesome relatives. This particular case involves the University of Texas, which up to 50 years ago had no African American law school student to speak of.

TIRED OF TRAINING people to think for themselves since that may lead to understanding that emotional and intellectual manipulation is needed to get what is wanted, poor, working and middle classes are keeping time to yet another round of budget cuts in higher education. In 2011 41 states did so happily to lead in the belief that increased tuition is a consequence, making it harder for the poor to avoid a life as cheap cannon fodder which is right where everybody but should be right about now. This year Florida is planning possible tuition increases from 8% to 15%. Willing sufferers believing that serving leads to not-getting-out-of-commanding-for-free at a later date are good student loan debt risks.

An odious taste for things stands occulted or revealed. It's your choice.

EDUCATION a mystery for Santorum, who continued the trend by home-schooling his children, is now being proposed by the same as a possible target for Federal budget cuts. As part of his history and evolution lesson, Santorum teaches how the Industrial Revolution led to factory schools and now that times have changed so should the schools, regardless of the fact that United States working and middle class kids are still stubbornly hanging on and haven't offshored. The Department of Education is also behind the times in not seeing them extinct and provides 11% for the education of disadvantaged and disabled students.

IN AN EFFORT NOT TO TRANSCEND prejudice, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie vetoed the bill on gay marriage.

BUDGET BLUES. Instead of increasing incremental taxation for revenue for Social Security tax cuts, Medicare rates paid to doctors,and unemployment benefits, Congress thought it would privatize some more by selling public property airwaves to wireless companies, in the hopes that businesses like AT&T and Verizon, which both fund the Tea Party considerably, would help develop a network for the police and firefighters to chat on in case of an emergency.

Running an ad saying that black children are an endangered species in Soho is like running an ad saying white babies should be cannibalized in Harlem.

CONTRACEPTION CHRONICLES: It's not that Government is overlording religious authorities, it's that religious authorities are overlording women.

CONTRACEPTION CHRONICLES. They may insert a vaginal penetration ultrasound probe in a woman's vagina against her will now, but who will insert what in the future?

EUROBUDGET BLUES. Germany witholds $171 billion in aid to Greece because it doesn't want to play the "sucker" to the country's need to pay its $19 billion bond and it allows $40 billion instead. It also suspends an euro zone meeting because of concerns as to where Greece will find 430 million in budget savings if pensions aren't cut. Even German home appliance companies like Bosch are involved in the process: unless a new Greek government is elected to guarantee an adequate slashing of its people's needs by doing someone else's will and showing a definite indifference to the consequences, nothing doing.

EMPLOYMENT EDIFICATION. Cutting entitlements doesn't mean their satisfaction in solving the budget crisis, it means they're next.

THE CONTRACEPTION CHRONICLES. They may ban contraception now, but who's going to miss that other paycheck later?

BUDGET BATTLES. Senator Max Baucus (D- Montana) and Representative Dave Camp (R- Michigan) are duking it out on unemployment benefit extensions, and Medicare reinbursements. The former, originally covering 99 weeks, is brokered down to 59 by Republicans, 73 by the President and 93 by Senate Democrats. Its funding should come from Federal pensions and other. The medical reinbursement would be funded by cuts in prevention care and the public health fund, cutting aid to hospitals with bad debt and other. Here's to the will to juggle spending.

HOLOCAUST VICTIMS BAPTIZED POSTHUMOUSLY. Barred since 1995 as a way of providing access to the gospels wherever to the victims of the Holocaust, someone suggested that Simon Wiesenthal's parents undergo the procedure.The person was disciplined and is now working on a list of inanimate objects having limited representation.

HIP REPLACEMENTS. You or someone you know in the market for a hip replacement? Lured by the idea of multiple surgeries and pain? Shop Johnson & Johnson, more specifically De Puy. After the Food and Drug Administration withdrew one model from sale and wasn't able to stop another because of loopholes, both were still being marketed in Europe.

THE CONTRACEPTION CHRONICLES. They may want to ban contraception, but there's no guarantee the offspring will help them with the tithe.

ANN COULTER. There usually is so much zipper on Ann Coulter detectors sound a mile away: even police dogs are happier now that she's planning on abandoning hip for square, where hip means a vague approximation of night blindness, while square retains some of the black for the liederhosen.

HAVING ACCEPTED THE EXTENSION OF THE PAYROLL TAX, Republicans are savoring its accompanying legislation like boiling mulled wine, ultimately complaining of torture and refusing to pass the bills contemporaneously. Hard to swallow, unemployment tax benefits are being regurgitated until someone decides on their length (for Republicans 59 weeks, President Obama 79 and Senate Democrats 93). For what regards covering the planned 27% reduction of doctor's fees covered by Medicare, their response is worse than molten lead.

BANNING ADOPTIONS. Virginia is tired: it is finally fighting for the right to overlook a loving home for children to be adopted into, relegating the choice to moral and religious grounds, which would also exclude same sex couples. That choice, it goes without saying, is not made by the child, or the prospective parents, but by the state funded adoption agency's forceful proselitizer.

APPLE AND WORKING CONDITIONS. To keep costs low, Apple is choosing the Fair Labor Association to ask workers living in dormitories whether living in dormitories is abusive or not.

SANTORUM PLAYING GOD. With recent polls showing him in the lead for the Republican party presidential nomination, Santorum has decided to create his own virtual tribe of knocked-up followers by promising to repeal all legislation assigning the coverage of contraceptive costs for women to whomever. All children born because of this policy will have to bear the middle name "Santorum". The new world leader also plans on adding two lines to the national anthem :" I revere the day/ I was not born gay" as a constitutional amendment and since global warming is a "hoax" meteorology will be abolished, with the slot in the news held by the weather replaced by bishopric homilies covering the meaning behind why women were never intended for the priesthood anyway.

WHERE'S MY SHARE? If, as Scott Walker, the Governor of Wisconsin says, collective bargaining is not a right but an expensive entitlement, why aren't I sharing in the profits of the work?

JAMES ENSOR

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S KEYSTONE XL. Just when you thought legislation supporting the building of the Keystone XL pipeline was rejected by President Obama, Republicans are trying to include the same in another packet of legislation. Barring that, they're hounding Senate Democrats and the President for the necessary signatures by presenting them with false credit card bills at gas stations and autograph books everywhere.

WHO KNEW PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS SECRETLY THE POPE? While all Republican candidates were at the CPAC Conservative meeting yesterday and none repudiated its support of Nazi politics,Rick Santorum shines above the rest by claiming that entitlements are "the narcotic of government dependency", which of course brings to mind Marx's statement that religion is the opiate of the masses. With 50% of United States citizens on some type of governmental assistance since 2010, and with some ready to renounce assistance if it means an increase in taxes because it's not hard not to think things through, why not all pray the White House, Social Security and Medicare disappear in an incoming rapture or apocalypse, a heartfelt thanks for taking seriously what religion characterizes as love of one's neighbor on this planet? Those left behind are the current Republican candidates as they scramble for the approval of Some Tea Party of all Revolts.

I don't know how many children some of my neighbors have, but I know Anjelina Jolie is expecting twins. By the same token, there's also no headline announcing Brad Pitt's involvement in rebuilding houses in Louisiana for those harmed by Katrina because he's not bearing the twins.

NO THANKS TO MONTI, the Italian premier who visited President Obama yesterday, and his co-reformer Fornero, 700 thousand jobs were cut as part of the austerity measure. That included pension benefits. President Obama yesterday said Italy is still an important ally in Europe.

IRAN is planning on sealing itself off to tinker with nuclear power: will sanctions woo where holocaust denying and ersatz racial hatred dare to tread? Why not take into consideration the evaluations of a people targeted by millennia of malice who have retained unexploded nuclear stock?

PROPOSITION 8 DECLARED ANTI CONSTITUTIONAL. Ottenebration on vacation, the proposition banning gay marriages in California was declared anticonstitutional at last. Now if everybody would just stop staring in people's underwear saying they're concerned with gay marriage when all they're thinking about is sex.

DARWIN GAVE THE CACHET OF SCIENCE TO WAR AND GENOCIDE. KURT VONNEGUT

WINNING IS IMPORTANT: As on Fallon last night, in an effort to prevent childhood obesity, Michelle Obama favors competition as a means to bludgeon one less fit that you with a club while cutting the finish line.

HAMAS AND FATAH, sittin' in a tree. Both organizations have decided to embrace one another, for the pursuit of nationhood. I guess Nazis had to leave Germany at the end of World War Two because they were colonizing South America for their brethren.

PRESIDENT AMENABLE TO SUPERPACS: President Obama, objecting up to now to the creation of superPACs, has come to terms with the Democratic party's, Priorities USA Action. Now he and the First Lady won't have to coordinate via fundraisers or other events, but can get their closest supporters to.

"POWERFUL SPOT": the words chosen to describe the "It's halftime in America" Clint Eastwood Chrystler commercial by David Axelrod, one of President Obama's chief political strategists. What he didn't say is that the chief executive of Chrystler is also responsible for FIAT, an Italian automotive company that was sentenced for anti-union conduct in an Italian court. Last year, Marchionne made an ultimatum to liberal unionized workers: they either renounce in house union organizing or stand to be fired. Workers from FIAT have faced loss of work from outsourcing to Poland and the United States, just as recently all the white collar jobs affiliated with the company are being trasferred to the US, with no growth in Italy. In this country, unions endorse President Obama. I would ascertain the solidity of his endorsement of unions. Or the right of workers in other countries to work at union wages.

COMPETITON WITH RELIGION:Hippocrates begone, not to be left behind from forbidding abortions even to save a woman's life in Catholic hospitals as a future promise to step into the light, and away from enlightenment, all sorts of undocumented immigrant codicils are entering care at University of California San Francisco Medical Center: a man, Jesus Navarro, was just recently denied a kidney trasplant, even with a wife willing to donate hers, because he is an undocumented immigrant.

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM FROM WHAT? In an effort to replace the State with its own lawmakers shouting it's our way or the highway, the religious freedom group has decided to impose its own views on all those employed by them and/or attending religiously defined universities, for one. Included in the morass are those needing help,previously characterized as a constitutional right, now as charity, such as intake shelter seekers, or those involved in finding help when in dire straights, or those seeking life saving procedures at the nearest hospital within range. On the grounds that even Christian Science is a religion, the congregation is donating funds to build a hospital with perennially shut doors.

UNITED NATION COURT DECIDES THAT GERMANY IS NO LONGER RESPONSIBLE FOR NAZI ATROCITIES. As our President celebrates National Prayer Breakfast with supporters of schools celebrating Hitler, after issuing a statement in solidarity with The Day of Remembrance for Auschwitz's atrocities, the United Nation court decided that Germany is no longer suable for war atrocities committed by Nazis. They recently denied the claim by Luigi Ferrini, who had been deported by Nazis to work as a slave for the weapons industry during the war. See Saturday's The New York Times, U.N. Court Upholds German Immunity From Suits by Victims of Nazi Atrocities.

C STREET SCHOOL. Yesterday Maddow reported that the President and his wife were at a National Prayer Breakfast hosted by the C Street House,a school run by a "the Fellowship" that teaches prejudice against homosexuals, holds relations with several dictators and believes that Hitler, Mao and Lenin are compatible examples to follow.That the President and the First Lady should have made an appearance there so soon after Holocaust Memorial Day is demeaning to the nation. That they should stress their daughter's education by limiting their time on the internet and then endorse a school that teaches revisionist claptrap is also demeaning to us as a nation. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, just interest, to know that Hitler wanted to exterminate both Slavs (Russians, Lenin's compatriots) and the Chinese (Mao's) whom he thought were mentally deficient as a people. And since Ms. Maddow's is out here's a speculation for her and the rest of us who take an interest: if homosexuality is hereditary, why wasn't the number reduced after Hitler's exterminations?

NAZI SYMPATHIZER RON PAUL ON A MAILING SPREE, THE PRESIDENT AND THE FIRST LADY AT THE NATIONAL PRAYER BREAKFAST AND IS THAT EVER A DOOZY. Okay, Ron Paul's acolytes are in the neighborhood, spreading their Nazi word via pamphlets mailed right to here...the White House couple were spotted at the National Prayer breakfast, this after a campaign by Caroline Kennedy to ask for support of the president by email, and some denial of the Bay of Pig invasion on tee vee that was also supported by some Ron Paul fanatics on the internet. The National Prayer association supports a school that seems to be dedicated to brainwash you into thinking that Hitler Lenin and Mao not only were steadfast friends but are to be admired as a subsumed, squishable piece of agreeable poop. Endemic as this is, and justified by using the term totalitarian to make you quake in your boots, it's just ignorance wrapped in a fig leaf of revisionism.

MAURIZIO CATTELAN

BJORK OF THE PROVINCES.

Her shoulderpads slipped, it's not as if she were inflatable.

NEW YORK NASSAU COUNTY POLICE FACING FIRINGS THROUGH THE AGENCY OF COUNTY EXECUTIVE EDWARD MANGANO. The Police Benevolent Association, one of the biggest unions in the country, and Democrats are fighting against a realignment of 8 police precincts in Nassau that would result in cutting at least 100 jobs of officers, and render people more vulnerable to crime.

COLLECTING A VOTE FROM MINORITIES FOR THE SUPERMAN. Last night on MSNBC Rick Tyler, who works for the Superpac inspired by Newt Gingrich called Winning our Future, was confronted with questions on his favorite candidate's racism. Caught in a turbine of emotion mashing his white man's burden, birthing thoughts flashed into view on how to conquer votes for the malicious troll: choking, he explained how Democrats kill black babies, and have abandoned blacks to poor neighborhoods, food stamps and a lack of role models,proving that he was not speaking of the working poor, or the poor, but of all African Americans showing how they as a unit secretly hold leases in poor neighborhoods, using the mansions and middle class homes they are often seen in as fronts. He ended the diatribe by issuing out a call to vote for Gingrich, intimating that the way to a brighter future for everyone was in his hands. What was disappointing though is that he didn't put to rest the rumors that, through Great Society legislation, Democrats were able to decrease poverty rates for African Americans from 55% in 1960 to 27% in 1968.