1,001 ways to spot an illegal immigrant

Shoot a flare in the middle of incoming traffic;
Their pant cuffs are short and they're innies;
They read the newspaper right side up;
Mention the "drug problem down there";
Some still chew gum, not tobacco;
Can't pronounce ethnic cooking;
If they don't look different than you they're wearing a tanga;
Mention free distribution of green cards for the holidays;
Begin a conversation including the word 'caudillo' in the first sentence;
Ask them if they know the way to Myanmar.