MEMENTO MORI. At Dover Air Force Base in Delaware remains of soldiers and 9/11 victims were cremated then dumped in a landfill mistaken for hallowed ground by slap-dash environmental buddhist personnel. "We already have a contract to sift for calcareous remains which, when jumbled together, make a subtle statement in your garden or fish tank", said one industry representative, " this way everybody can have a souvenir of the latest conflict in one's very own home." The bulletproof vests, provided by a privatized contract to the military for combat duty have proven to be completely useless in any way, shape or form.