Guess Why I Have Trouble Finding a Job Column:

President Bush inaugurated the slow drone you hear, repeating people like Nazis did while packing cars for concentration camps. The reasoning is:

George Bush is slow, so should the rest of the nation should be too.

And it is SO Nazi technology. 



Other consequential news of the day: Miley Cyrus, bares a nipple because it reminds her of Marilyn, and Kim Kardashian dons black leather undies.